.the matter in the miles.

.the matter in the miles.

Monday, October 5, 2015

marathon #1.

For everyone who wants to know how my marathon went yesterday:

The marathon was rough. Yesterday was one of those days my body did NOT want to be running...

After gathering with my teammates for a worship service & team pep-talk, I headed for the starting zone. I had hoped to run with a group from our team who would be doing a run 10 minutes/walk 1 minute rhythm, but couldn't find any familiar faces after I dropped off my bag. At the last minute, my roommate Jess found me at the back of our corral, & we set out. The weather was the perfect temperature, clear skies, no wind... During the first few miles, I realized that I wasn't breathing like I was running at all, which was bizarre. My body was probably mostly asleep, but still awake enough to feel stiff & disagreeable. I started out optimistic that my muscles would warm up, loosen up, & that things would get better.

We took it slow from the beginning - my roommate Jess & I - but she had way more energy than I did, so I fell back from her somewhere around mile 8 when I insisted that I needed to do some walking; I had been planning on running 10/walking 1 for the entirety. Jess had no interest in walking because she said she felt great (which I could not relate to), so I decided I needed to intersperse some walking on my own.

Despite my disappointment at not finding my teammates at the start to run with them, I consoled myself with the idea that they would catch me at some point with the slower pace I was going. Sadly, I never saw any TWV people that I recognized around my pace, & I never warmed up to feeling better or going much faster.

The fans were great, even though only about half of them read my name correctly off of my jersey. They cheered, & Team World Vision fans were everywhere, as noted by a new friend later when I explained that they were my family on the course. Signage made me laugh & gave me more than one "power-up!" I hi-fived a Yeti at a few points on the course, Gumby fueled me with twizzlers, folks offered me beer & water, of which I took the water...

Thankfully, I did come across a father (3x Ironman) & daughter (running her 26th marathon) who were doing 10/1, so I asked if I could tag along with them; I asked what pace they were running between their walking minutes & they replied, "forward." I figured that today was not going to be the day I broke 4 hours, so I might as well have some company. Around Lake Nokomis, my former roommate Jenifer even showed up to run some distance with me! Dave, Robyn, & I ran together until mile 20, when they told me that the deal was 10/1 for the first 20 miles, but I had to try to run the last 6 straight through... so at mile twenty, I set out to run as much of the remainder as possible. Before I headed off, Robin handed me a $10 bill that she had found on the race course as a donation! I said thank you & farewell & pressed on, hurting as much as ever but feeling mentally okay.

I don't remember hitting a 'wall' necessarily at any point, but the pain wore me down more & more as I went on, & mile 24 still seemed so far from the finish. I kept running, walked bits here & there, & made new start-lines for myself with cracks in the pavement. One TWV runner, Keven, was running about the same pace as me for the last few miles, but he was in much higher spirits! I didn't feel defeated -- I knew I would finish -- but I hurt too much to really engage anyone.

Stopping was not a question or an argument in my mind, but I was ready to be done. My friend Gretchen showed up on the course to run with me at mile 25, which was a great encouragement; she was proud of me, even though I was disappointed in my inability to feel any better the whole day or run even close to my 'normal' pace. Then Danielle & Lacey joined us for a stretch before we reached the Cathedral & I headed down the shoot to the finish line. Almost there...

Finally, I made it to the finish line. I convinced myself not to think about any of the effects of what had just happened - just to be done running & walk to the tent. I knew the pain & culmination of all that had lead up to it would catch me, but 'just get to the tent.' When I did, I cried: because it had hurt, I had not felt good, I had not enjoyed what I had worked so hard for, because I could not even think about the impact this whole thing had made because I just had to survive for nearly 5 hours through pain.

At least it can only get better next time.

In retrospect, this race was so worth it. I remember exclaiming yesterday, "WHY would ANYONE run a marathon? Who thought of this & decided this would be fun?! What a horrible idea." The distance was somehow so much more brutal than 20 miles had been... but I got a glimpse of the suffering that I run to relieve. I learned that I could persevere through pain, undoubtedly because of the many many people covering this event with prayer. I wanted so deeply to have fun & feel happy, but even an environment steeped with joy could not drown out the burdensome demand of survival.  I cannot take this perspective lightly.

The marathon is over, but I'm far from finished. Every child deserves clean water. I cannot imagine expecting a child to carry the suffering of that distance, so I will take it on again that they may have JOY free of the burden of survival. Please help them if you can: http://www.teamworldvision.org/participant/kelseyrunstcm

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